Little acts of love- your rituals

Everyone has little love rituals. Or they should have them if they want a connected, intimate and loving relationship. They are the little things you do just for each other- acts you may have agreed upon, or things that have grown over time.

Here are some examples:

-Using the “I love you” sign from ASL when you drive away.
-Meeting someone at the door with a hug.
-Calling your partner out of the blue just to say hello.
-Giving a shoulder rub to your partner at the computer.
-Taking turns watching each other’s favorite television show.

Why are they important?

John Gottman wrote it takes five positive interactions to replace one negative interaction- these love rituals are your positives. The rituals are the glue that holds you together, the familiar that feels good, the eraser that wipes away small angers.

I’ll share with you one ritual my husband and I have. We hug whenever one of us comes home from being out for a time. Whatever the person at home is doing, they make the time to stop and hug the returning partner. It helps us both remember we are important.

Interestingly enough, our cats have learned this ritual and come rub against the ankles of the returning family member as well! Group hug.

So, what are your little rituals? What do you do to help the machine of your relationship smoothly operate? What small things have real meaning? What can you add to your rituals?

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