Everyone has little love rituals. Or they should have them if they want a connected, intimate and loving relationship. They are the little things you do just for each other- acts you may have agreed upon, or things that have grown over time.
-Using the “I love you” sign from ASL when you drive away.
-Meeting someone at the door with a hug.
-Calling your partner out of the blue just to say hello.
-Giving a shoulder rub to your partner at the computer.
-Taking turns watching each other’s favorite television show.
Why are they important?
John Gottman wrote it takes five positive interactions to replace one negative interaction- these love rituals are your positives. The rituals are the glue that holds you together, the familiar that feels good, the eraser that wipes away small angers.
Interestingly enough, our cats have learned this ritual and come rub against the ankles of the returning family member as well! Group hug.
So, what are your little rituals? What do you do to help the machine of your relationship smoothly operate? What small things have real meaning? What can you add to your rituals?