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Defining a Healthy Relationship

Do you know what makes a healthy relationship?  Clients ask me all the time, and I reply, “a healthy relationship is one where two free-standing individuals chose to be together and share. ” What does this mean in a relationship?  Well, there are three main parts- free standing, choosing, and sharing.  Let’s look at each

How Anger In Relationships Can be Good

I’ve been thinking about anger in relationships.  Many couples make the mistake of thinking anger at your partner means you can’t love them or the relationship is flawed and unfixable.  Actually, anger is merely a signal that you feel threatened.  Like all other emotions it has a gift- it motivates you and gives you energy.

Four Skills to Build Relationship Happiness

I asked my husband what he thinks it is most important that couples learn for relationship happiness.  Since his training is much different than mine (Physics) and he’s been putting up with me for years (26), I was very interested to hear his answer.  He gave my question a few moments of respectful thought and

How to Make Friends as an Adult

Do you think it was easier to make friends when you where a kid?  Do you miss the quick camaraderie of childhood?  What made friends easier to find when you were a kid?  You can learn a lot from kids on how to make friends (and research bears the lessons out.) Here are four lessons

For a Healthy Relationship Get into the Spirit

Sometimes a couple comes in after a few weeks and reports they are doing “the work”; however, they aren’t seeing signs of a healthy relationship.  One or both of them show me their journal with each homework assignment completed.  They talk about the regular discussions they are trying to have while using the speaking and

Changing We Starts with Changing Me

To cause relationship improvement you have to realize that by your actions you cause the things you fear or don’t want in your partner. Think about that for a moment… how do you elicit the reaction you most fear or dislike by what you are doing? I’ll bet you sometimes do.  Here are a few

7 Ways to Create Healthy Relationship Habits

How many of you have struggled to make changes to affect your health?  If you didn’t raise your hand, you are fibbing.  The change could be physical, emotional, relational, social, cognitive, or something else; however, even small modifications mean tackling habits. Ah, habits, those silly little things we often ignore.  Unfortunately, you often forget about

Using Positives to Sandwich the Negatives and have Tastier Feedback

A friend gave me a great lesson in relationship communication a few years ago. I redid my whole website; myself, personally, alone.  It was a chore as I’m not a technophile, and I was pretty proud of it. Anyway, the first day I struggled for over five hours through technical jargon, downloading, reconfiguring, and coding. 

Relationship Stress – Is it a Threat or a Challenge?

One day I had a wonderful experience– someone posted a negative and derogatory comment on my blog! I bet you are asking, “What makes that wonderful?” It is great because a comment like that means my message is touching someone.  It means what I wrote hit a nerve or made someone think.  Maybe that reader

Taking and Making Time to Cherish Your Relationship

The other day I met an acquaintance for lunch.  As we talked she mentioned how difficult it is to get together with people these days.  “It seems people don’t have the time to do things like this, meet for lunch with friends.”  We mused about how people have filled their lives with “doing things” and

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