When the 2016 presidential election results seemed to surprise people I was a bit astonished by their surprise. The way the presidential election moved is quite similar to the process of sales. And as you probably know sales are all about relationships.
The one truism about sales is that people make decisions emotionally and then justify them cognitively. In fact they will take in facts and information that support their emotional decision and refute or deny any other facts that are not in line with their emotional decision.
So what does this mean for emotions in your relationship?
It means you need to understand the process of decision making. Good relationship communication both personally and professionally begins with emotional empathy, understanding the other person. When you can understand what the other person is feeling emotionally, what they are drawn to emotionally, then you can have better relationship communication.
But, remember, you have to understand the emotions before you hit them with rational cognitive decision-making. John Gottman, a well known relationship expert, says the couples who are masters at relating START with empathy (emotion) and then move to problem solving (cognition.)
That’s where all the pundits were mistaken about the recent presidential election. They discounted the emotional tide, and focused on the cognitive side as the deciding factor. But emotions will win out , especially in such a charged competition, and in difficult relationship discussions.
Always take into account the emotions in your relationship first.