The other day I was cleaning a closet and came across a blue box. It isn’t much to look at, but a huge smile spread across my face, none-the-less. That box holds real and intangible memories. Literally, it is filled with memorabilia from my childhood. Figuratively, it holds a ton of love and caring.
Well, you see, as I was growing up, my mother had that blue box up on top the kitchen cabinet. Each time I did something good she put a reminder into the box. A newspaper mention, a ribbon from an art contest, a great report card, certificates – anything positive went into that box. Mom made it a point to mention she was proud and she was placing something into the box.
My blue box.
It was mine to continue the day I got married- tied with a ribbon and filled with memories. But more than the physical pieces, it is to the intangibles I hold most tightly. Mom knew how to build me up rather than tear me down. That box represented not only achievement but her caring. In the times I felt like a failure, that blue box on top of the kitchen cabinet reminded me I could do great things.
What does this have to do with your relationship?
You have a choice in your relationship to emphasize the positives or harp upon the negatives. You can keep a list of “wrongs” and “not enoughs” or you can fill a box with what you love about your relationship. That is today’s relationship advice.
You create the lodestone of your relationship. You choose what to put into your relationship box. You decide what you are going to hold onto.
This is not about burying your head in the sand over the troubles you may have. Mom never taught me to avoid problems; however, the box reminded me I could overcome them, that life could be good.
Let’s face it, if you have a good foundation and remember why your relationship is worth working on, the work becomes easier.
That’s your relationship box (no matter what the color) and my relationship advice.
So, go out and get a nice box. Put it somewhere prominent (your nightstand, the bookshelf, center of the dining room table) and start filling it with good memories. Write them down and put them in. Stick anniversary cards, notes, pictures and anything you want in there to remind you that your relationship has its rewarding, intimate, caring and wonderful side. And tell your partner what it is and why you are doing it. Ask them to help.
If you don’t want a literal box, I encourage you to write your relationship positives in a journal.
When things are tough, look through your box. When things are difficult, look at the box and remind each other what you are really wanting. When times are good- add to it. And may your box overflow with warm positive thoughts.
Let us know in the comments how you keep positive memories.
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